roll up roll up It's the eight-fifth annualparade of ooh aah and oh she shouldn't be wearing that fat bitch
cheeky on CheekTV That's me !
hello cheeky chops Let's not mess about The artist and the Hugos won big winning five awards a piece predictable People's champion I mean seriously who writes this Meryl streep won best actress She's got three now come on Meryl give the lesbians and foreigners a chance positive discrimination It's the way forward !
The red carpet threw up some right tragic cases like Emma Stone what was that I think there's a white woman attached to your bow Ugh that's a gift that no one wants Best dressed goes to my girl miss Piggy who won best original song with Man or Muppet from The Muppets yes there was only two songs nominated but Piggy wore a custom made dress by zac Posen Christian Louboutin shoes and was dripped in ninety-five carats of diamonds She's made of felt how does this make you feel cheeky chops low So Low best dressed goes to milla Jovovich who wore who cares She looked good What's she famous for again
host Billy Crystal kissed george Clooney which only proves that the laws of attraction do work Like does attract like One old stiff who thinks he's funny and I have no idea where I'm going with this so cirque du Soleil at the oscars No thanks academy I mean cartwheels and flips I need to be entertained not a recreation of gary Oldman's dressing room after he lost out to jean Dujardin for best actors .
Prize peasant Sasha Baron cohen spilled Kim Jong Two's ashes on Ryan Seacrest on the red carpet dressed as his dictator character you know plugging some other bleak comedy SBC sit your tired acts down Take the borat cash and run I've known five year-olds with fart jokes to be more amuse-bouche than you Hi I'm bruno Hi We're over it !
and finally the big message of the night was to go see movies on the big screen Well hollywood we hear you and we feels you Stop making weak sequels and cashing in on 3D james Cameron and George lucas stand up then maybe the poverty-stricken world won't begrudge paying ten of their pounds dollars and cents to see your artistic interpretations just a thought ooh cheeky .
watch my other new video where I abuse an old woman Yeah that's right I do what I likes